The Black Female’s Struggle for Love

As I stroll through campus on my way to class, I can’t help but notice the absence of black love here at Hofstra University.

As a freshman I’ve only been here for a little over two months but, from what I’ve seen, it’s a rarity to see a black person in a relationship, let alone in a relationship with another black person.

I’m not criticizing couples in general, I support all forms of love, but what I ask is why are serious relationships such a rarity in  black culture? Every couple I have seen on campus  has either been two white people, or one white person and a member of another race. The most common form of this that I have seen is a black male with a white female. There is nothing wrong with an interracial relationship, for I’m the product of it — my grandmother being Irish-American, my great-grandmother being Native American, and the rest of my family being black — but part of me aches for the black female, which I consider myself distinctly, who is left out of this equation of love.

Out of all my black female friends, none are in relationships. Out of all my Caucasian female friends, most are one half of a couple. So what’s the problem?

A generalized explanation to this problem that many black males offer is that black females are bitter, have attitudes, and have strong personalities, which collectively are too hard to handle.

As a black female, I can concede that some form of truth lies in these stereotypes. We are strong females, with a determined path for what we want, but why should a black female concede her strength for something that a male should take as a challenge?

I talked to a good friend of mine, who is a white male, on this topic, why does he think more black females aren’t in relationships? He responded that from his point of view most of his white male friends feel as though black females are stronger in their convictions, and most white women are pushovers. Males tend to go after the pushovers because it’s easier.

So is the answer to the question “why aren’t black females in relationships,” because males refuse to take up the challenge of a dating them? I can’t definitely answer; I don’t see being in a relationship with a black female as a challenge, and I also know that this reason can’t be applied to every situation. I can only wish that in an age where 42 percent of black adults have never been married, compared with just 26 percent of all American adults, is that love will ignite in our culture again, especially for the black female.

Tatiana Brown

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